Underlying beliefs

Did you know that many of our underlying beliefs are made when we are children?

These become subconscious, meaning they can affect our thoughts, feelings and behaviours without entering our awareness. For example, if we have been repeatedly told by ourselves or by others that we are lazy or greedy, we may well live up to that. Perhaps we want to starting getting fit, but when it comes to getting out of the door something seems to get in the way. If our subconscious mind believes we’re lazy, there isn’t much chance we’re going to end up at the gym! Our mind works to prove itself right. If we already think we’re lazy and we find ourselves at home in front of the tv then as far as our brain is concerned; great, everything is as it should be, we’re safe!

So, if we want to change our behaviour, we must tell ourselves what we want to believe. Positive affirmations work. A belief is a thought that we repeatedly think.

So in this example; saying to ourselves; “I am motivated”, “I challenge myself”, “I look after my health”, “I’m getting fitter” are all far more helpful in working towards underlying beliefs that align with our future goals.

A little update from me

Hello!
I hope everybody is enjoying the sunshine.

I’ve been fairly quiet recently as I’ve been busy training to be a Clinical Hypnotherapy Supervisor. Now I’ve qualified I will be moving towards supporting newly qualified hypnotherapists and delivering CPD courses along with the lecturing I already do.

This will mean I will have less time to work with clients on a 1:1 basis sadly, but I will hopefully have some great new therapists to refer you on to. My prices will be increasing too. I will give some notice before this happens, so if you’ve been thinking of booking in then it may be wise to do it now or to go on my waiting list if I can’t accommodate you immediately.

However, I am also working on creating new ways to work with me through products, audios and videos and group sessions/webinars.

Watch this space!

Sleep well

Sleep is something that is discussed in every consultation in the therapy room.

Sleep is your internal therapy.. specifically your rem sleep. During this phase, when you dream, your brain is doing all it’s filing and processing. Imagine the cleaners coming in and tidying up, throwing out the rubbish and getting you ready for the next day. If you have enough quality sleep, you will wake up refreshed ready to face the day using the logical part of your mind.

If you don’t sleep well, you can wake up tired, groggy, emotional, forgetful, more likely to make poor and impulsive decisions. If this is a regular occurrence you can actually lower immunity and increase the risk of poor heart health, diabetes and weight gain.

The NHS says that the leading cause of insomnia is stress and/or anxiety. Hypnotherapy is very effective in reducing stress and anxiety and promoting a good night’s sleep.

More advice can be found here https://thesleepcharity.org.uk/

Weight loss

How does hypnotherapy help with weight loss?

Most clients that seek therapy for weight loss are either stuck in habitual overeating for pleasure, chronic dieters at war with themselves or there is something getting in the way of them making change; typically stress. Stress has a huge impact on our ability to lose weight. We produce more cortisol which then encourages fat storage ready for the perceived threat. If stress levels are high the body doesn’t want to let go of fat. If we are sleep deprived, studies show we eat more and are more likely to make impulsive decisions which go against our long term goals. We’re also more likely to get stressed, and if we do manage to lose weight it comes from muscle mass not fat stores.

Firstly, hypnotherapy can help to reduce stress levels and improve sleep patterns which is necessary to gain intellectual control. We focus on the small changes that can become new habits (if we try and change everything at once we usually fail!) and how we can get our feel good chemical fix in other ways aside from eating. We also go through the science behind why diets fail long term (it’s not your fault!) and how retraining ourselves to eat mindfully can change how and what we eat.

Trouble sleeping?

According to the NHS, stress and anxiety is the leading course of insomnia. Sleep disorders do exist too, but are less common. In the therapy room, I often see clients who have already tried various sleep hygiene methods yet find themselves wide awake the second they get into bed. As our brains pattern match, previous experience tells us that we struggle to sleep, therefore becoming a self fulfilling prophecy. If we think it’s going to happen, it probably will!

During a solution focused hypnotherapy session, we focus on the changes we could make during waking hours that would help to increase feel good chemicals, reduce stress chemicals and change negative thinking patterns. We also train your brain to relax using hypnotic language patterns, continued at home with a recording to listen to at bedtime or in the middle of the night if required. Very soon clients report feeling more relaxed, less stressed and therefore having a restorative night’s sleep.

Fears and phobias

If you have a phobia of spiders, you will know that even when you see a photograph of a spider, you have a physical reaction! You may jump, or get goosebumps from the adrenalin rush. This is because our brains can’t fully differentiate between imagination and reality.

When we use hypnotherapy to overcome fears and phobias we use this to our advantage. First we bring anxiety levels down, and reduce and diminish the chemical response using our imagination to rerun events such as a turbulent flight for example. Eventually our brain stops producing the chemical response, as if we are bored with it as we’ve been exposed to it so many times.

Next we use our imagination and hypnosis to rewrite the template by mentally rehearsing the situation going exactly as we’d like it to, with amazing results!

This process is usually 2-3 sessions, unless there is significant general anxiety which will usually require more.

The dopamine trap

Sometimes we can fall into the ‘dopamine trap’ where we get hooked on a feel good quick fix.. food! Or it could be scrolling through your phone mindlessly.

Your brain remembers that a bar of chocolate made you feel better temporarily last time you were bored/fedup/unmotivated and the habit becomes hardwired. Of course this isn’t a long term feel good fix, you soon start beating yourself up and fill up that stress bucket.

We can all sometimes use food to comfort us- there’s nothing wrong with a hot meal on a cold or rainy day or some snacks you enjoy with a film. For some however, it can become a problem they feel powerless to change; in which case the more of those 3 P’s you can do instead of using food as a mood lifter. (See previous blog post!)

Some alternatives to reaching for your phone or the biscuit tin….

Complete a small task; make that phone call you’ve been putting off or tidy that drawer! You will get a dopamine release and feel motivated to do more.

Move your body; a walk, a you tube workout, dancing around the kitchen will all get the feel good chemicals flowing.

Do something that interests you- something creative, listen to a podcast or learn a new skill.

The more we focus on what we want to do (rather than what we don’t) the more likely we are to succeed at creating new habits.

Brain based therapy

The 2 main parts of the brain that we focus on in solution focused hypnotherapy are the 'intellectual mind' and the 'primitive mind'.

The intellectual mind is logical, rational, sensible and positive. It's good at finding solutions and decision making.

The primitive brain is the part that's essential for our survival, it's negative and it's emotional. It is wired to flight, fight or freeze in the event of a threat to life, and it also likes to operate based on previous patterns of behaviour. Whatever you did yesterday kept you alive so why not do it again today? This includes unhelpful and unhealthy habits- remember the primitive brain isn't logical and doesn't think long term!

In solution focused hypnotherapy we use the metaphor of the 'stress bucket'. This is where all of our negative thinking is stored, things we dwell on from the past and things that we worry about that will never even happen. When our bucket reaches our limit, (we're doing too much negative thinking) we lose control from the logical intellectual mind and start operating from the negative emotional mind. This part of the brain reverts to the primitive parameters of depression, anxiety and anger. These are all ways to keep ourselves safe- depression is us pulling the rug over our heads and hiding away from the world. anxiety is living on red alert ready to press the panic button, and anger is the primitive way of defending ourselves.

Luckily, we do empty out our stress buckets at night when we're asleep, during our REM pattern. What also helps is what we refer to as the '3 P's'.

Positive activity, positive interaction and positive thinking. All of these get us producing serotonin which makes us feel good!

Positive activity is anything you enjoy, and if it's exercise; even better! Positive interaction is talking to people. You may have noticed you feel good after you've been out and seen people or had a chat on the phone. Positive thinking can be a little trickier- unfortunately our brains produce more negative thoughts than positive! By asking clients each time I see them "What's been good?" starts to get them to focus on the positives rather than dwelling on the things that haven't been so good. Gratitude diaries and journalling use the same concept.

The aim is to limit what we are piling in our stress buckets, do more of those things that make us feel good and therefore spend more time using the intellectual mind where we are coping with life in the way we want to.

What do exams, golf and speeches all have in common?

What do exams, golf and speeches all have in common?

… I’ve helped clients with all of the above, with great results! (And clay pigeon shooting, dance performances, job interviews, driving tests and piano playing). No.. I do not know anything about golf, or most of the above, but luckily I don’t need to.

I use a combination of solution focused therapy, hypnosis and NLP techniques to mentally rehearse the event going just the way the client wants it to.

Imagine if an athlete turned up to an event thinking “I’m going to be crap at this today”. How well would they perform?! Imagine the difference if they turned up having positively visualised every last detail, feeling calm, confident and in control.

There are many anecdotes online about golfers who have improved their performance without actually swinging a club, and even specific golf coaches for the mind!

Next time you feel nervous about something, perhaps instead of worrying about what could go wrong, instead try imagining it going exactly the way you want it to.

How many sessions?

Naturally, people want to know how much time and money they may need to invest to overcome their problem.

I never claim to ‘cure’ conditions, or to fix problems in 1 session. I have actually seen other hypnotherapists (though they are very much in the minority) claim to cure eating disorders and OCD in 1-2 sessions. In my experience this is impossible. OCD and Eating disorders are complex and often require a team of professionals and/or a multi angle approach to find what works in order to manage it. Hypnotherapy can be a part of this- it can be very effective in bringing stress and anxiety levels down which enhances the problem.

It is difficult to make a guesstimate on many sessions will be required as everyone is very different. I’ve had some people make positive change with only one session and are able to continue alone, others I’ve seen for many more. Usually hypnotherapy is a short term therapy, however I do see some clients on a longer term basis because they like it! You are the expert on you; you will know when you don’t need to come anymore.

There are some exceptions; some fears and phobias can be dealt with in 3 sessions and smoking cessation is often only one session.

Much like weight loss- if it’s a quick fix that seems too good to be true, it probably is! If you’re willing to invest time and commitment to yourself then please feel free to get in touch.

4.3 million mental health referrals

That’s the figure I’ve just heard from 2021, a record high.

Now more than ever it’s so important to look after your mind.

So what can you do? Of course you can speak to your GP (I know it can be challenging to actually get through and then get an appointment, but it’s an important step). You can self refer online through Talkworks for CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) based therapy.

You can book in with someone like me, a private therapist. There are a range of private therapies available both in person and online for both adults and children. Some people I meet have no idea these exist and that they can help with a wide range of problems! Research which type of therapy would best suited to you, and importantly find the right person. If this isn’t financially feasible for you, luckily there are so many free or low cost resources available now. From You Tube channels to Facebook support groups, face to face support groups and online free support groups run by charities and other organisations. There is even a local sea swimming group! (If you would like signposting to any of these I’ve mentioned please just ask.)

Educate yourself. There are a range of books available that can really help manage your mind. They can often be found on Amazon’s best sellers list and I often recommend books I’ve read on my facebook and instagram pages. Knowledge is power, learn how your mind operates and you’re in the best place to manage it.

Find your ‘thing’. Therapy doesn’t have to seeing a therapist. It can be playing an instrument, taking part in a sport, a hobby or devoting time to an interest. It can be meeting up with friends and putting the world to rights. Spending time outside in nature or with animals is also proven to be therapeutic and produces those happy chemicals.

What makes you feel good? Do more of that!

Lockdown 3.0

How is everyone doing?

We’ve made it to the end of the longest January, well done! If all you’ve done is cope, that’s enough.

I know many people have felt under pressure to ‘achieve’ something during this time, so they feel that the time has not been wasted. It’s so easy to compare ourselves to others on social media who appear to have transformed their homes/bodies/businesses. (I’ve done it myself!). But when my logical brain kicks in I remind myself that everyone’s circumstances/time constraints/finances/mental load are very different. I’ve done my best and nobody can ask more than that (as my hypnosis track says!)

Our negative primitive brains make it easy to dwell on what we can’t do at the moment, which makes us feel worse. So how about changing those ‘can’ts’ to ‘cans’ and thinking about how you can do things differently?

You may not be able to go to the gym right now, but you can join an online class. You can go outdoors and walk/run/exercise. You can’t meet up with your friends, but you can schedule a Zoom meeting, facetime or just an old fashioned phone call. Exercise and interaction with others give us a big boost in feel good chemicals!

Perhaps you can’t work right now but you can take some time to do some marketing/ update your website or learn something new. We don’t always have to be productive, sometimes the best thing you can do is rest; take the nap, have the early night. We know that good quality sleep is vital for our mental health, so for tonight the ironing can wait!

What is solution focused hypnotherapy?

Solution focused hypnotherapy combines two great therapeutic techniques.

The first part of the session is based on solution focused brief therapy. We know that dwelling on the problem isn’t helpful and actually makes it worse. We can get so lost in the problem that we can’t see the first small step towards our desired outcome. So we acknowledge the problem during our initial meeting and then move on to how we’d like things to be. Unlike counselling we don’t go over the past, so it’s great for people who want to move forward without going into depth about past problems.

I may ask questions such as “If this session really helped you today, how would you know? What would be different afterwards?” This encourages you to find your own solutions. We all have them!

Once we’ve built a picture of how we’d like things to be (positive visualisation) then we use trance to empty out that stress bucket! Trance is a normal and natural thing we all go into on a daily basis anyway, like when we’re driving and don’t remember passing a certain place. Most of us have the ability to go into a light trance during the therapy session. Some go much deeper. Either way it’s relaxing, enjoyable and effective! Clients often describe how amazing they feel for the next few days. Hypnosis uses trance to encourage a natural brain processing state in which we can gain clarity and go away feeling confident, calm and ready to make positive change.

Mindful eating

If you have been ‘on a diet’ for most of your life, then you will probably already know they don’t work! Not long term anyway. As we always say in solution focused therapy- the more you focus on a problem; the more of a problem it becomes.

So you can guess what happens when we spend our time worrying about what we can’t eat. We also programme our minds to repeat the same behaviours over and over by creating neural pathways. So if we usually have a cup of tea and a handful of biscuits everyday at 11am, then sure enough each day at 11am our brain is encouraging us to do it again, whether we are hungry or not!

I am pleased to be offering specific mindful eating sessions. If you would like some more information on this please contact me and I will call or email you.